3:55 p.m. - November 12, 2004
Why am I so pissed that L is getting away with so much? That W can't see what she is really like. That I got let go yet she gets to stay in the section? Where do I belong? Do I belong here? Do I get a neew Job and leave this place that I've known for years. The man that I hate to work for but love because he has helped me in so many ways? Do I get to go back to him? Does he even want me back? Does M want me back? Do they even care? Do they see that I am loyal and dedicated? Do they realize that I have given above and beyond unlike the person they have? Do they know that I am capable of so much more? That I am willing to do what I have to to prove myself? Do they know my talents are being wasted where I'm at?
Will I be blessed for being humble? or do I need to make all this known? It's not in me anymore to stand up for myself. I'm tired. I did it to myself. I left. Maybe I don't belong there? Maybe I don't belong in this place. Where are you leading me? How long do I wait? I could wait a long time if I didn't feel this way.
I'm anxious. I want it to be soon. I want confirmation. Why does nothing make me happy?
I realize that I need to let you lead. I realize that I must follow. I will wait. Wait patiently. But I will bitch and beg you to hurry.
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